[mood]: relaxed, content
[music]: eva cassidy, jack johnson, coldplay, wallflowers, robert randolph and the family band, ben folds

i sort of didn't want to cover up the last entry because to me it captivated a moment that was here. but it's passed now.
i'm thinking this might be my last entry in this blog, i update so infrequently these days that my xanga should be able to handle everything i have to say. even if my entries are longer than the emancipation proclamation, oh well they'll survive.

i've been having a wonderful time, despite the ever-present bite of aching for him and the beach.

so what's happened.
my parents went to ashville so lisa and michael were around a lot of the time.
thursday night i went to their house in creedmoor and had a cookout with them and ben and chelley. that was fun, ben's hilarious and dinner was delicious and it was a good time all around.
friday was really busy, woke up and went to the pool and then went straight from there to lunch with ben michael chelley and lisa and then went straight from there to shea's house!
we made chocolate milkshakes and he played songs on his guitar while i sang, sweet. we watched the first part of reefer madness which was just depressing. well it was funny. but some funny stuff is depressing at the same time, you know? so yeah good floor-sitting laughs were had by all. the best was the strawberry that got stuck in his glass, that was priceless and i will never forget it. "it bopped me on the nose!!" hahahaha i love you sheehan.
then they gave me a ride home and i got ready to hit the town, har har.
cept really, we did.
went to evoo first for drinks and appetizers, we got free food because michael's brother bill was the chef. so yeah it was me lisa ben michael chelly matt zach melissa jensen and kate. then we went on to 518 for real dinner, sat at the bar for a while (i got a shirley temple, heck yes) and then sat down. except i didn't really want to eat so we ordered a bunch of food then just boxed it up. matt got drunk and was hilarious, i'm sorry to admit. well the story about proposing was classic, as was "dark, warm, moist..." oh goodness. and then there was that chocolate cake fiaso from the table next door to us...michael bet me $5 to go and get it and jensen was like i'll do it for $10 and she got up and took it. we gave it back though. whoo boy.
then yesterday was pretty low key.
hung out with lisa the whole day, took sophie on a walk, made cookies, went to the store, made dinner, watched ocean's twelve with her and michael.
then today was a good day, at 1.30 (or well i was late, whoops) met up with shannon at north hills! it was so good to see her, we had a blast. we ate lunch at moe's and split nachos and were messy eaters and told stories (hahaha) and then realized we were screwed cause we had no clue what time it was. went in a lot of stores and then saw her friend paul working at starbucks. oh, the joy of lifeguarding connections. and he told us what time it was, sweet. but we lost track again while we spent forever and a half in target, trying on a bunch of stuff but in the end only getting superman underwear, unless you count the candy we smuggled in, hahahahah good times good times. we ended up being ten minutes late to batman but it was all good, the previews were still going on as promised to us by paul. well, oh my goodness, it was so good. i liked the spiderman movies okay, but this was so much better. it was pretty dark the whole time which i actually liked a lot better than the happy go lucky crap. it was edge-of-your-seat excitement and they didn't go too crazy with the computer imaging, it was just the right amount and pretty well done in my humble opinion. and yes, it screamed SEQUEL at the end, haha.
came home and found out that sophie has conjunctivitus, awww.
my parents are home, at least!

these are the songs that i currently have on repeat, basically:
green eyes--coldplay
i'll back you up--dmb
fields of gold--eva cassidy
late--ben folds
no other way--jack johnson
another one in the dark--the wallflowers
smile--robert randolph and the family band

i discovered there is one song that will make me cry no matter what: fields of gold, the version by eva cassidy off of live at blues alley.
i miss you,
where are you?
no matter, walks on the beach can't be replaced by late night online talks.

WALKER'S HERE AND WE'RE GOING TO THE BEACH FOR A WEEK TOMORROW AND I HAVE TWO TICKETS TO COLDPLAY AND THEIR NEW CD AND RILO KILEY'S OPENING AND SHEA SALLY SCOTT WILL WALKER AND I HAD THE BEST TIME EVER TONIGHT AND THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY BECAUSE I JUST MIGHT COMBUST WITH HAPPINESS!
everyone have a wonderful week : )

[mood]: on top of the world.
[music]: jack johnson, and buddy holly! the song by weezer not the artist, whoops. and iron & wine.
[countdown]: EIGHT. DAYS.

mmm, so.
today was the official art table crew reunion.
well, sort of. either way, it was AWESOME.
SO, here was the rundown for today.
woke up. my mom decided i needed to get out of bed at 10.00. i love her anyway, surprisingly.
talked online pretty much all day like the nerd i am. well that was excusable considering 1). it was raining and muggy all day, and 2). well, fine, there's really no other excuse. shhh.

then at at 4.30 my mom took me to crabtree.
where i looked at jewelry for a millinium and a half, waiting for whoever was going to show up.
man, not having a cell sucked for about fifteen minutes. but i wasn't panicking. i was actually pretty good about remaining calm. and not looking like i was going to get raped/robbed/or start shoplifting.

SO i was walking out of the shoe department, well actually i was thinking of blowing all my money on coach shoes, not really, when MISS EMILY HORTON attacks me, yup pretty much. i hadn't seen her in two weeks! the tragedy. her mom is so sweet! so we played phone tag with yera, sort of, to meet up with her.
went to get her vera bradley, then went into express where i tried on the whole store because i had my mom's card.
went back to look at vera bradleys for cameron, talked her out of her ten trillionth purse. hahaha.
well basically we went into every store known to man...about three times each. i saved up my money for that ann taylor loft dress and i'm happy about it.
overall, got three tops, two pairs of earrings and a skirt and a shirt and another shirt and a dress and dinner.
but on to the jokes of the night.
we really were convinced we could walk up the down escalator, but then we decided not to.
i think cameron definitely got enough BLING on her sunglasses, no?
i'm boycotting this store! well, i changed my mind cause that shirt's cute.
the great earring conundrum: buy two, get two free?!!?!
and can't forget the purse problem. and calling yera's mom to decide.
EMILY'S ARMPITS...were totally not exposed. aww poor baby hahaha i love you.
____ would think you look cute in it!
"take it easy, baby"
weird couples at the food court.
that's really feminine looking...and i was about to say that i didn't know they had a women's section!
yera's the ultimate picky shopper, definitely. even worse than me.

then yera had to leave and it was very sad. we walked her all the way to the opposite end of the mall.
our parents were extremely cool with all arrangements made, which was oh so convenient.
emily's mom picked us up and drove us to north hills to see the sisterhood of the traveling pants, which, i must say, made me laugh way too much, and not because it was funny. it SUCKED. just flat out. the books were much better, i lent them to cam when she dropped me off at the house. but i digressed.
ANYWAY. we saw kelly and mary brent and mccauley and just about every sophomore I MEANT JUNIOR from enloe well not really just four. and A VAMPIRE i am not kidding. she sat on our row and made fang-y faces at us. and then at the end, she said EIGHTH GRADERS ROCK! assuming we were that young. so afterwards in the empty north hills plaza, i yelled, WE'RE SOPHOMORES. okay so it was really loud. but i started laughing again just now even thinking about it. sigh, i love you guys. but the point of that rant was that i knew eleven out of the fifteen people in the theater. pretty nifty. and so i teared up with emily yet at the same time laughed. i felt bad, OH WELL.
then we frantically called cam's dad.
and stood around having the best time until we realized there were freaky guys EVERYWHERE.
running from thugs! uhhm char can you go ask if they have a gun?
and we remembered elliot and the staring girl, in fact i had muchos fun imitating them both.
and we screamed and hid on benches from cops. not that we were doing anything bad?!!
and chased down cameron's dad's car.
and took pictures in the car and had headaches from the monsterous flash.
you have now entered THE TWILIGHT ZONE doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo...

aww i love you all so much, i had so much fun just hanging out with you guys and laughing, it was such a good feeling. i miss art class! but i'm so glad that we all got together again, y'all can make my mood better no matter what. nights like this are the best, definitely. i love you and summer!

so, yawn.
i'm tired.
CAMERON IT WILL BE ALRIGHT but you already knew that because i optimist-ed it out with you for a while haha.
i can't wait til sunday-monday when the biology nerdologists are once again reunited!
then...ahhh...a week from the day after tomorrow starts the best week of my life, i'm predicting.

EDIT?!!?!

PICTURES!!
from various occasions so far...all summer, though.

[mood]: AMAZING, so alive
[music]: NIGHTSWIMMING & 100 YEARS, both on theriver100.7 in a row. schaweet. and the old apartment, cause that just came on launch. and when i look to the sky?!! no i hate the new version nevermind. AND ROMEO & JULIET by dire straits which is jensen and my new FAVORITE SONG EVER. ahh it's so good and it just came on launch.
[countdown]: two weeks!! (a new one, you ask?? it's for the beach.)

i'm so happy, so happy, so happy.
well, i'm on the TFC white team.
with coach wolfe as my coach.
he was funny, he thought i wouldn't want to do it. and it all happened so fast.
and the weather's been absolutely gorgeous, i cannot describe. the feeling of the sun and the breeze and the ice cold water, ahhh i love the pool. just reading and thinking. i could lie there in the sun thinking forever.
went straight to lunch after being at the pool for a couple hours for sidney's birthday party. she hates cake, so jensen and i went last night and got eight pints of hand packed ben & jerry's ice cream, holy crap we were like "jeez it feels like we've been dumped eight times..." hahaha that was such a fun night, we went out to dinner at porter's before that. but yeah anyway on with lunch, it was muchos fun, definitely. i love the feeling of summer, knowing you can take all the time in the world to do anything you want and it just doesn't matter.
got home and relaxed for a bit before will and his awesome babysitter picked me up for sheehan's party. or wait should i say FATTY picked me up??? well will's mr. gluttony. so it all evens out. haha we got there early and so we did such intelligent things as hit birdies onto the roof. but hersch was heroic and stepped on top of mr. moore and climbed on the roof to get them so it was all good.
what all did we do? well this is like the fourth year or something it's been at north cary park, so we went down to those rocks and talked. and got to know each other, considering the majority of the people go to cary and i'd only heard about instead of meeting. so yeah. then we ate every strawberry in sight. then we played BOCHIIIIII haha no clue how to spell that one. and badminton...damn i suck at spelling or maybe it's just cause it's late. and we had crazy sex. okay well not really but that will, man, he's the life of the party. oh yeah and then we had a shoe stealing fight. which sounds retarded to the umpteenth power but i've never had more fun getting tackled. WAIT I LIED that was no fun whatsoever. but in the end my "play it cool" powers got me my shoes back. yeah, they got both at one point. sigh.
SO then we ate bobs. shishkabobs, that is. and opened presents we weren't supposed to bring, then it was time for a WALK. that was some crazy stuff. like yelling at that poor skater dude. maybe he went home and cut himself, he was so emo. who knows. actually, now my guilty conscience is starting to set in. damn. OH WELL! we hid behind walls. and had foot orgys. and yeah that's about it.
then came back up for more cake. and then WE HAD THE BEST TIME EVERRR sliding down slides. we found some pretty darn creative ways, lemme tell ya. we're such little kids, i know. but really, it was fantastical amounts of fun. mmm : )
SO NOW i have PICTURES. merci shea! (sorry y'all my webshots isn't working. soo...i'll have to figure something out.) i'll get more later from other people.
here are hersh's.
so overall, life's wonderful. which it always was and always has been.
and even though, there's something big and scary out there,
i think it'll be okay.
how can i say anything else when i have this summer staring me in the face?!!?!
OH! OH! OH YEAH!
anyone want to drive to myrtle beach august...14th or something to see hootie & the blowfish??
aaand since mu mu got his ass grounded for life, who wants to go see ted leo with me june 2?? well actually i might have soccer. but yeah we'll figure it out.

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

...i can't do anything but be in love with you.

[mood]: sick as crap but happier by far.
[music]: the dandy warhols, hot hot heat, built to spill
[countdown]: one day. actually, make that TWO AND A HALF HOURS.

so basically, i just wanted to make this update to say:

19 DAYS!!

yeah. that's about it.
this is going to be the best beach trip, ever. period.
i'm so glad i never have to set foot in kifner's room again.
and, french wasn't that bad.
and thank you sally for giving me a ride home!
and i'm about to die i'm so sick.
but my life is amazing.
so i just don't care!
i have $100 to spend on cd's. what should i get. that's a tough question.
i only have one more night to worry about staying up too late talking to him/only one more morning to wake up early.
and oh yeah i think it's funny when people think they can write stories but they can't, they suck, and it's going to be like excerpts from those shit books you find at the grocery store. yeah, those trashy romance novels with embellished covers, those.
i'm happy, i get my camera back! definitely in time for the beach. the warranty was still in effect and so we shipped it to be serviced, all costs on them. so i won't have to bum pictures off of everyone anymore. on that note, i should have more coming later tonight from shea and yera.
alright, well i'm gonna go get all drugged up. so i don't black out during my english exam tomorrow.

[mood]: wow.
[music]: ben folds, ben harper, b-52's, i'll back you up--dmb, one tree hill--u2, carry the zero--built to spill
[countdown]: four days. all half days for exams.

i can't believe it, that today was the last day of classes.
it was a really great day.
it started out wonderful, too.
and no, i don't mean when kate and i both slept through our alarms and woke up at 7.00.
i mean, it started, at midnight, wonderfully.

i'm going to try to get pictures from everyone, namely shannon & yera.

first: sat on the bleachers and freaked out about kifner and studied with anne, willy, kuntal, tracy, and hubert. what's ridiculous? the fact that we have to take exams in there...on the bleachers...tomorrow. alright i'm over it now. but i'll miss having a class with willy, and that was my one class with anne, too.

second: BAAAAH. my biology nerdologists for LIFE. this is class is one of the only reasons i'm truly heartbroken about the year ending. okay well so i'm not...but next year i'll hate not having it and i'll be heartbroken THEN. shannon, lea, betty, david, and jeff, we had such a great time. we took tons of pictures, as always, and then at the end sat around and reminsced about all the things we've done in that class. like the huge group labs we did at the beginning of the year and we all go to know each other. and me gossiping about a billion and one guys, and then...oh man it's just tough in a place like enloe. cause it's highly unlikely that i'll have a class with them next year, much less BOTH lea and shannon again (the core nerdologists, heck yes.) so that's just a bad feeling...we'll never be able to sit around and just talk again. it was so much fun, i loved this class so much, plus the teacher was AWESOME.

third: baahs; jgbsg. i only ever have to deal with kifner again on monday, for field testing. you can miss up to 13 on the exam and still have an A, i had a 100 on monday and i missed 9 yesterday and so far i'm only wondering about 1 on the part we took today...so hopefully i have an A. that would make this year perfect, honestly. but anyway, today's was easy.

fourth: AWWW i'm going to miss this class, too, despite my strong dispite for the molesting piece of matter that cause itself our english teacher. mulhern, michael, shannon, kuntal, richards and i all had fun watching jane eyre today, you know it! okay so all we did was make fun of it. and pass notes. and take pictures, and more pictures. i love those guys so much...they're some of the best new friends i've made this year.

fifth: we had MORE CAKE in french today...then did just about nothing. okay so fine i'll miss this class a ton, too. sally, rebecca, helen, daniel, kermit, james, other sally, sarah jane, mike, ahh it was a big french family. we had so much fun gossiping and telling all of our woes and funny stories in front of the entire class, it was like a sounding board for everybody. and i did so much to get that class, with that teacher and sally. aww.

sixth: so today really was THE LAST time i'll ever go to that lunch. i would cry, really, but my summer's staring me in the face and it's just too good to do that. i did so much to switch and get this lunch, too. i was so happy it let me get to know jake and michael better. and of course, michelle, danny, scott, ashley, kohler, andrew, and i might as well say alex because he practically sat at my table. but i won't ever get to be smuggled off by kate again. and i won't wander into wood's room again and see shannon, thpenther does NOThavecock, cameron, david, rebecca, and yeah whoever else. and then sally's booth, with julian and...wow yeah that was always interesting.

seventh: AWW the other reason that high school will never be the same after this year. art class meant so much to me, y'all became some of my best friends. i had so much fun in there with you guys, through some of THE WORST days of my life and of course some of the best. you always made me leave with a smile and happy, even if i came in about to cry. cam, yera, morgan, emily, anna, and camille, y'all were so patient to listen to me all those times and of course we ROCKED at the points games and at the end of the year there we finally just got so frustrated and snapped and paid puff-bucket, eloise, and paris back. ahhh yes. i'll miss all the crazy stories so much and i'm so glad i got to know y'all through that class, and again it's sad because it's unlikely we'll all have stuff together again next year. i love you all so much!

eighth: okay so mr. noland = my hero and i'm so sad i won't get him again until junior year. but the second semester of math was a blast, with BABY kuntal and his rolly chairs, playing cards with the huge asian contigent, and beating them might i add. except for today but whatever shut up. you always made me so utterly aware of my whiteness, why thank you. i'll miss the games of slaps and trying to make trash can baskets and copying problems wrong. okay so maybe not so much the last one.

then, i saw all the seniors.
like, all of kate's friends and the "fan club" that came to all of our soccer games and these people i've always known and grown up with. and they all said bye to me and it's ridiculously heartbreaking because 90%+ of them i'll never see again in my life. (if they're exempt from exams.) i don't know how i'd deal with leaving--going from ligon to enloe wasn't that big of a change. their life is going to change drastically, they'll spend the majority of their life doing something completely different from what they've been doing so far. and the scary thing is, that's a constant reminder that in three years that'll be US. there's no stopping it. we'll all split up and go to different colleges. oh goodness. teary eyed.

AHHH everyone i'm so sad.
but, not.
beacuse this summer is going to be the best thing ever, alex's party seeing mrs. brooks shea's party art table get together ted leo (with...? i need to figure that out) and at some point i have to watch k to the untal beat down mu mu at basketball with emcee and danny, then walker's coming here and hanging with shea for a day then to the beach with us for a week then back here and more hanging with shea then a couple weeks til he moves back then...living in cary for the rest of the summer : )

last night was the spring sports banquet and yeah it was sad.
i'm going to miss playing on a team with kate so much.
but i won MIP for varsity soccer so that was pretty nifty.
went out to dinner afterwards at mellow mushroom and yeah we talked about kate leaving for college and GOOD GRIEF this is weird.
i'm not supposed to be this old.
i'm not supposed to be through with a year of highschool, it's already summer again, this is my favorite time of year by far, time always weirds me out this way.
it's the time of year where i stay up late and wake up early because there's no moment when i don't want to be alive. i want to drink as much of it in as often as i can because it's just that amazing, who wants to be asleep when you could be talking or thinking or writing or loving or knowing or just being, in a wonderful place like this.

much love to everybody.
i'll update again tomorrow, probably.
HOPEFULLY people upload their pictures soon.
i'm getting a new digital camera in time for the beach (enter moment of utter hypervenilation and excitement) but not in time for the last day of school, duh.
now only exams are left and that's weird.
only one time left in each of my classes.
oh man.
it's weird...i remember last year ending, it was horrendous.
the two weeks after the end of ligon were the saddest weeks of my life. not kidding.
and now i'm so sad that this is ending because it was an amazing freshman year. i mean honestly, people should wish hope and pray for a year as amazing as the one i had.
thanks to all the people who made it so close to perfect.
i'm proud of all of us for making it through the way we did.
GAAHHH now summer get here : )

[mood]: overwhelmed. yearning still. happier.
[music]: there's one love in a lifetime, there's two hearts of a kind, there's three reasons you'll be mine, there's five or six ways through seven days without you...yeah so avion. and the cure is my savior, pictures of you came on followed exactly by just like heaven, and i realized what a dork i've been. and also of course the august and everything after album--counting crows, the new pornographers, postal service, twin falls--ben folds five, crash--dmb, collide--howie day, sleeps with butterflies--tori amos, the scientist--coldplay because it's amazing, yeah.
[countdown]: eight days left?!!?!

so yeah i deleted the post i had before.
this week has been rough, well monday-wednesday was, but today got better.
i'm an idiot.
i can't afford to be bothered by people at the end of the year...
especially people who only care about me and want to just tell me they love me. i can't just blow them off for that.
everyone come to the enloe vs. green hope game, saturday @ enloe, 4.30. $5 to get in, except they may not charge since it's state tournament games now...?? who knows.
i'm excited for saturday night studying. and shea's party. and alex's party.
and, yeah.
life's good.
today was finally better.
really.
i'm so sorry for all the stupid things i've been thinking, even though half of them, or more like 99% of them, you'll never know. but i want you to know i love you with all my heart and that could never change. that's directed to so many people in one way and then...one person in another. you guys are amazing.
things made me happy today, like the fact that i definitely said what needed to be said in art class, right cam. and i tried to mooch off of people in the slushy line and all i got out of it was a quarter and a single rose, not a slushy. oh well. and i love my biology class.

wow, i just wanted to let everyone know i talked to today:
i love you.
no joke, each and every person.
and even one i didn't talk to today.
even though i really need to, i think i righted my world by myself.
with the help of...everyone i talked to. whether you guys did it knowingly (alex, shea) or not (adam, mulhern)
and the real countdown: fourteen days.

out of the doubt that fills my mind, i somehow find you and i collide.

[mood]: wow, some girls are born lucky. haha cameron.
[music]: interpol
[countdown]: twelve days left of school, including exams.

well, JEEZ.
this week has been utterly overwhelming. i'm glad at the end of it, though, that everything's in place.
first off, notice the fact that we have less than three fulls weeks left of school, and that to me is just absolutely crazy. i guess i've seen it coming, but i have definite mixed feelings about it: this year was the best year a freshman could have ever asked for and i'm really going to miss things like my great biology and art classes and my schedule overall, and playing on the soccer team with kate, but at the same this summer is going to entirely awesome and i think that's going to take the cake compared to school.

we got yearbooks and, let me tell you, so much drama has never been caused by one yearbook signing before.
luckily, pherribo and i worked everything out last night. it's nice to know that someone's not hurting as much as they could be, but that you're not sacrificing your own personal happiness in order to satisfy everyone else--because you know what? that never works. rational selfishness, ayn rand calls it. (speaking of, by the way, i adored that seminar in c&c on thursday.)

in any case, the interesting stuff.
last night went to the lacrosse game sort of last minute cause cam and i just love carpooling : )
we won! well i'm pretty sure we did. we were up 10-3 with like four minutes to go and i doubt they could have scored two goals a minute in order to pull ahead. saw corinne anne brittany crystal lora yeahhh and then i told cameron the "life story" since sixth grade. because for some reason she just didn't know walker had gone to ligon way back when. hahahaha that was interesting. went to centennial to pick up her sister from the dance, and that caused us to reminisce about every dance ever. then back here.

tonight, went to crabtree with cameron and got stuff. yeah pretty much. hahahahaha we had so much fun. i don't know i'm suddenly very tired and don't feel like elaborating.

but now i'ma do some shoutouts. that sounded very fifth grader-like. but get over it, because you know you want to see if you're on this list.

sally-- just because, well, you're pretty cool. hahaha and i signed a gallon and a half's worth of words in your yearbook today, so, i guess you're on my mind.

walker-- you just keep on making me happy, whether you're trying to or not.

cam-- "give it to me daddy!" and uhh, i just threw up a little bit in my mouth. hahahaha jeez crazy times.

shea-- i'm waiting for that e-mail from OH-SO-LAME virginia. heck yes.

michael & scott-- thanks for setting me straight about what all guys mean all the time. totally.

and for the second time this just hit me how RETARDED it is, and i must be really tired. au revoir.

oh but by the way, who wants to go see ted leo & the pharmacists with me on june 2?? kate already has futureheads tickets so i can't go with her. and i definitely like mr. leo better than those heads of the future. but both are wonderful, don't get me wrong. SO IN OTHER WORDS, let me know if you want to go to king's for an awesome night of music for $8.

[EDIT]

happy mother's day!!
it's crazy that i'm practically done with this project, but then again, it is due day after tomorrow.
today was a ridiculously gorgeous day, went out to lunch with mom, duh, and then spent as much time as possible outside.
then went back to crabtree with kate and got more stuff, except this time with her money/mom's money. i = a moocher. tsk tsk.
heard bittersweet on the way back in the car and the windows were down and we sang at the top of our lungs and i can feel it summer's almost here!!
as soon as my parents get back from golfing we're having a cookout, fun stuff.

1). who wants to come to the beach with me? sallyyyy you may be able to come besides just that week in june, turns out we're going 3 other times?!!?!
2). who wants to be my study buddy for kifner's exam? well i think just about all of you. hahaha.
3). mark your calanders: our next soccer game is next saturday night, may 14. come!!

[mood]: ON TOP OF THE WORLD!
[music]: hot hot heat--elevator (album) and CLAPPING SONGS like hey ya and the strokes and a long time ago we used to be friends. CAN'T FORGET THE PUMP UP MUSIC!!

OH MY GOODNESS.

how the heckity hey did i end up with such an amazing life?!!
crazy life, sweet life, beautiful life.
i'm listening to the first one! it's a song (crazy life by toad and the wet sprocket) and it came on launchcastplus and i turned it up really loud and baaahhh i'm SO HAPPY.

well, first thing's first.
WE WON TONIGHT!!!
thank you so so so so much for all the fans that came out. even the ones *cough danny and alex* that are in big trouble for taking our eagle pride flag over to the athens sideline. whoops...good luck with that tomorrow morning. anyway, without y'all the good vibes would have been decidedly less and thanks so much for your support--be there for the state tournament, too! (both are home games cause we're the NUMBER ONE SEED now! yeaayyuhhs!!!)
i was nervous as all get out, which didn't help much. the score went 1-0 us, 1-1 all, 2-1 us, and then in the last five minutes we made it 3-1 us. AHHH, it was awesome, and it was SENIOR NIGHT TOO. and kate scored the first goal! how lucky am i to be on the same team as my awesome sister, aww i love her so much and i'm going to miss her next year. but i'll carry on the mabe tradition--heck yes. then casey made it back from her dance thing! and scored like, in the first thirty seconds she stepped on the field with twelve minutes to go. then kelly scored the last goal! and everyone played SO WELL i'm so proud of everyone and coach got dumped with water balloons/two water coolers after the game. and then we ate cake and partied!
then sally rode to third place with kate john and i and we got italian sodas, mmm.
then we brought her back here and now i can't even imagine attempting homework. i have some french that i'll probably do. and probably some stuff on the project, but man, it's getting late.

and it was gorgeous weather today overall and everything was good.
the project group is going well, i even have an A in kifner!
then for lunch kate kidnapped me and then sadi came along and we went to cookout and got lemonade/milkshakes. mmm. sat back at the regular table for the second half of lunch. started a new drawing in art. after school we all went in a caravan to jessie's house: kate took me audrey ww and kellie. then we watched zoolander and had pasta salad, mmm. then we gave all the seniors their gag presents, heh heh. LIL' CHUB no just kidding kate.

so yeah only two days left in the week and i frankly don't give a crap about ANYTHING work wise, in less than a month we'll be out.

ROCK ON EAGLES SOCCER! GIRLS' VARSITY '04-'05!
state tournament up next : )

[EDIT]

here's the article that was in the newspaper: click.

[mood]: well my heartstrings are being tugged on a little bit, but excellent.
[music]: george winston--autumn (the entire album, ahh so good.)

so.
i'm fifteen.
happy birthday anne and april, too!
i feel old...-ish.
actually i feel ageless, i feel both so young and so old and they just cancel each other out. what does age have to do with anything, anyway? you can get wiser or more naive as you grow, and you can become more youthful the older you get. it's a weird conundrum, age is.

let's see.
yesterday i stormed north hills with my mom and that's about all you need to know.
got so much stuff for my birthday, baah.
i don't know why i just made a sheep noise, ANYWAY.

today, woke up at the grand hour of 7.45 to go spend the first half of my birthday at driver's ed.
WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE FUN, whoa my gosh i know but at times i found myself laughing so hard, we made the best of it we could.
we had this foriegn guy as a sub from the lady that was there last week and he was even cooler than she was. we didn't watch as many videos but we talked him into giving us two thirty minute breaks and an hour lunch. and he let us out thirty minutes early, yess.
during first break, threw boxes at each other and fought over the wheely chair.
lunch, they stole some amp equipment and we fused the stero subwoofer and speakers to griffin's ipod and then played football in the parking lot and then starting rolling tires around and pole vaulting WHO KNOWS those boys are crazy. so mostly it was anne griffin spencer kira and...i don't know those other three guys' names. and then i fell asleep, it was nice.

got back to the house then left to meet SHEEHAN at the north carolina museum of art, haven't been there since like sixth grade i don't think.
it closed earlier than we thought so we made transportation arrangements, then were set free.
walked all around outside, there are these huge fields and all these sculptures and different forms of art and it was a really pretty/windy day and i just always have so much fun with shea.
pictures are here.
hahaha BOO. (that video looks like something out of a horror movie. it's from the whistling poles at the museum, but i don't think you can hear anything but the wind, and the screaming of course.)
OH SCHNAP. (that hurt like mess, i don't think you can really tell exactly what happened. but in reality, it's hilarious and it didn't hurt so much that i forbid you from laughing. so laugh, laugh away.)

yeah so then we went back to shea's and took more pictures and trampolined like always, WHAT ELSE?!! and read that orange notebook of comics and stuff we had from last year, awww it made me miss going to school with him so much. i love you sheehan thomas moore!

got home and had my big birthday dinner, ahhh so good. presents presents all around, i'm excited i got lots of great music (waiting on walker for more, heh heh) and clothes aaand that's pretty much about it, besides money. but my party's not til next weekend anyway.

then went with kate to the enloe vs. some wake forest hockey game, YESS we won 10-1 it was awesome. saw anne and carey there, i hadn't seen carey since she left the team like two years ago? or maybe it was just two seasons ago, but three seasons ago would be two years cause of the high school schedule. but ANYWAY. hahaha had fun talking with them and then of course kate and andrew.
especially since kate burned me this awesome CD and everything and gosh i'm just going to miss her so much next year when she goes away to college. like all get out. we have so much fun together, dancing in the car with the windows down blasting hot hot heat. (the band, not the ac. duh.) and i'm so lucky she can take me to school and so lucky that we get along so well and she's like an instant best friend! yay! but it's going to be so lonely around the house once she's gone. and i'm going to miss this year's class of seniors, heck yes '05, because i love them to death and they're all so sweet to me. having a big sister rocks.
well now that we're done with that sentimental moment...

on to another!
i was thinking how perfect this weekend would have been to have walker. he could have come up and stayed with shea while i was at driver's ed and then met at the museum. like, the cloud room and everything? shea was probably about to hit me if i said his name once more. and then tonight the hockey game was so much fun and i know he loves it. and so right now we'd just be sitting on the floor talking when necessary and just listening to music when it wasn't, and just soaking up each other's company.
i don't know it's hard to believe it's only been one month since i saw him.
and it's only been two months for us this time around, but that doesn't really matter i mean that makes something like ten months total so whatever.
but still.

glad for no school tomorrow, have a couple homework things to knock out. i'm sleeping late, though.

overall i had a great birthday. thanks so much to everybody--for existing, i love you.
Kuntal: happy birthday
Morgan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLOTTE!!!
Shea: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Cam: happy birthday charlotte!!!
Michelle: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!
Adam 2: happy birthday!
bah yeah whatever you get the point i don't feel like going through stuff to get all those.