[mood]: horrible.
[music]: somewhere out there--our lady peace

okay, so...it's thanksgiving break. which should be an excellent thing but considering shea, scott, sally, and ashley are all going out of town and walker's already out of town PLUS really really really sick (as always), it looks like i'll be doing next to nothing over break. god damn i cannot wait until i can drive.

well, the interim grades are in: healthful living--97.7, biology--100, c&e--93.6, english--95.6, french--99.3, art--93, algbebra II--102.2. pssh yeah whatever. that'll all change after finals...we'll see.

i really felt like i should write even though there's absolutely nothing to write about. i just felt like writing today. i feel so down because, well first off it's raining like nobody's business and secondly i have nothing to do over break. i'm hoping i can go to a movie with michelle or alex or shopping or something but we'll see. i'm so sick of walker being like about to die. it really gets old. i wish he would just get better. ANYWAY...i'll do the typical day period-by-period deal.

first: it was actually pretty nice cause there were like five classes in the west gym. talked to ashley, rachel, anne, willy, david, rebecca, chris, phil, yeah there were lots of kids in there. it seemed really really long though because it was like a hundred degrees in there.
second: we watched this video and i almost fell asleep on david's desk like...five times. it was really disturbing about these "designer babies" and how in fifty years parents will be able to determine what their baby looks like acts like, everything. i'm happy i'm already born haha. but yeah that was interesting...i mean come on, jeff's in that class...haha.
third: in c&e we finished that movie...i would complain, but considering it's better than kiffy teaching us...and also eric and i make cracks on it so it's all good.
fourth: the great big huge test thing on romeo & juliet was so easy. i definitely got a 100. no, really. but it sucked because we couldn't talk except for like the last five minutes. phil and kevin both almost got themselves zeroes on the test for trying to talk to me while i "rolled my bills". silly kids. chris says mr. king stares at me the entire period. no, thanks.
fifth: we were supposed to have a party for our teacher assistant but uhhm, no. we did work. and we also had a survey which was convenient. but oh well.
sixth: lunch wasn't as good as yesterday but all the same it was pretty good. alex scott ashley michelle michael...usual folks. but i got really depressed realizing that we're doing like...nothing over the break. god why does that bother me so much?!!
seventh: i actually finished my project in art. whooaaa. then morgan and i just left the room to go to my locker and she was so sweet and helped me! awww but you know what really sucks...our plan didn't work oh well we tried our best haha. dude everyone in that class is like failing though because of those retarded sketches we have to do every week. thank goodness for not having school on wednesday cause that means we get a week off. but the one awesome thing happened in my day: when we were walking back through the hall mr. wolfe came out of his classroom to congratulate me on how well i played on sunday night! oh that made my day, really.
eighth: uhhm. we did math that i actually had to pay attention for because i didn't get all of the problems on the homework. on the one day he actually checks it. but that's fine cause he knows i always do it.
after school: kate was retarded and didn't show up for like twenty minutes. and it was rainy and cold and everyone was gone. i saw lots of people i knew though which was happy making...until all of their busses came at once and i was sort of left with wet feet and a bad attitude. so i got home and slept for three hours even though we have no school tomorrow and i can sleep as late as i damn well please.

well i have lots of $$$ and i hope i can go christmas shopping over the break with at least kate if not shelly and anne or something. i'm so mad, sally didn't leave town tonight so that means we could have definitely done something. but i don't think her parents like me too much. probably because they like adam better...times like 169237529357. oh well. and alex called me at 7.00-ish and woke me up from a dead sleep and i was all excited but then he immediately had to go...for whatever reason. and hasn't called me back. and gossshhhh i haven't felt this awful in a really long time. just kidding, i feel this awful every day. everything in my life is like...perfect. why do i feel so shitty?!! shea didn't even call me before he left for virginia.

as david and i decided, it's pitiful when the only thing you have to look foward to is sleep. but it looks like that's my deal.
Will 2: all right we're loser buddys!
Creamy: heck yeah!
Will 2: loser power
Creamy: most definitely.
only we can make being a loser look so cool.
but we're not really losers.
we're really so damn cool.
but...it doesn't feel like it when there's nothing to do.
because you can't drive yet.
and everyone's out of town.
aaand everyone else is apathetic.
okay enough whining, here are some surveys from earlier...like three hours ago.
actually, it's like fifteen surveys put together.
hahahahaha have fun.

My name is: char
Have you ever had a song written about you? yes most definitely.
What song makes you cry? okay, considering i’m one of those people with tear ducts that are just waiting to start working…pretty much anything on a bad day. either way by guster, untitled by stellastarr*, say anything (oh i know it’s old but whatever)
What song makes you happy? just like heaven—the cure, my coco—stellastarr*, tributary otis—the refreshments, the best of what’s around—dmb, i could go on and on like this forever, trust me.
What do you like to listen to before bed? i change like once a week but lately it’s been august and everything after—the counting crows (an album) or boca or ben folds ep’s.
Name a song by Coal Chamber: duhhrrr you’ve got me.
Who was/were your idol/s when you were younger? my sister…kate, of course haha. but not anymore…my idol is MEEE =)
First album you ever bought? errf i have no clue. it depends if you count cd’s i bought if they were gifts for others. cause i remember buying smashmouth and eifel 65 for kate for her birthday and christmas…hahaha.
Name a song that reminds you of someone and why: pictures of you—the cure is the obvious choice, for walker. but…let’s not go with that. let’s go with…if i could give all my love-or-richard manuel is dead—counting crows, for alex.
Where would you like to be right now more than ever? hanging out with friends anywhere i swear…this break is looking so lonely as of right now =(
r i g h t n o w
WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: my orange/pink plaid capris. somebody had to cheer up the rainy day!
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: zephyr song—red hot chili peppers
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH? milk
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE? really really rainy and not quite warm but not quite cold…it’s absolutely miserable.
HOW ARE YOU?: i’m good, a little sad, cause it’s break and everyone’s gone out of town. but i’m hoping alex will call me back soon…he called and then had to go and it made me a sad panda. hahahaha sorry…southpark references.
d o y o u
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: yeah when i read or when it’s hot
HAVE A BAD HABIT? worrying…yup that’d be it.
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: I can remember every fight we’ve had this year: that’d be all two fights this school year, and all three fights this calendar year.
f a v o r i t e s
TV SHOW: vh1 is completely awesome so pretty much anything they show keeps me entertained for hours.
CONDITIONER: sheer blonde or physique
BOOK: a ring of endless light, fight club, bloomability, goodness knows there are lots.
MAGAZINE: instyle, but for newsmagazine time or new yorker
ALCOHOLIC DRINK: communion wine all the way. no wait, i lied, champagne.
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: go to movies, have house parties or go to house parties, go out to dinner with friends, etc.
BAND OR GROUP or SINGER or RAPPER: goodness shut up do you want me to list all of that?!! ben folds/ben folds five, red hot chili peppers, the refreshments, u2, guster, chris stamey, collective soul, franz ferdinand, ted leo and the pharmacists, stellastarr*, counting crows, r.e.m., our lady peace, the shins, the strokes, ben kweller, treble charger, keane, averi, cake, goo goo dolls, third eye blind, three doors down, sr.71, spitalfield, reel big fish, okay list getting too long.
h a v e y o u
BROKEN THE LAW: you know those little plastic candy containers at the store? yeah when i was like three at the eckerd’s i wanted to take one little m&m just to see if i could. and guess what…i could.
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: i used to always threaten to. one time when i was really little i got my sisters to help me pack for it. we packed a banana, a deck of cards, a shirt, and my rock collection. i spent hours and hours outside waiting for my parents to freak out and come get me, but…they never did. it turned out i went inside by myself and no one made any note of my absence. now that is depressing.
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: yeah…aww good times. we used to sneak out to go swing on the hammock at like two in the morning.
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: i don’t think so
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: hahahaha get any group of girls together for a sleepover
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: how do you do that?!!
USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: many times. cause i’m the only daughter they trust with it hahaha.
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: yeeeeaaaaaahhh it’s so much fun. but no one ever thinks you do when you make straight a’s heh heh.
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: almost
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: yes…to return the favor they’ve paid me many times.
l o v e
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: i wouldn’t say that. the one person who truly broke my heart, i got over them in a healthy way. then the one person i can’t get over…who says i want to or am trying to?
BEEN HURT?: who hasn’t. yes.
YOUR GREATEST REGRETS: aren’t things i can do anything about.
r a n d o m
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: official humoresseneccity provider! okay, sorry. not really, but i babysit all the time.
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: boca, or counting crows, or treble charger…too lazy to check.
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: royal blue
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: the presence of friends in any shape or form
WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST? shea, sally, alex, walker, michelle, yeah okay i could just list all of my friends for you…
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: probably a burned copy or at least a sampling of walker’s new stuff (interpol and death cab for cutie)
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: scott, shea, sally, alex, walker, ashley, michelle…damn are you gonna make me list all my friends again? hahaha
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: play soccer, listen to music, write…those are my main hobbies and i do them like crazy.
w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t
TIME YOU CRIED?: as i fell asleep earlier this afternoon.
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER? i gave one a couple weeks ago. but hmm let’s see, in seventh…or eighth? grade from jessica
YOU GOT E-MAIL: two days ago from walker
THING YOU PURCHASED: i honestly don’t remember
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: a soccer game between manchester united and olympique lyonnais.
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: damn it’s been so long…shall we dance with ashley and michelle
hree Things I Don't Understand:
1. hatred
2. love triangles
3. jealousy
oh wait can i add a fourth? STUPID PEOPLE! augh.
Three Things That Scare Me:
1. guns, like whoa.
2. cancer
3. my house burning down
oh wait can i add a fourth? STUPID PEOPLE! augh, again.
Three Things I Want to Learn:
1. how to drive. i want to skip the process, i just want to know NOW.
2. how to cure the vincoli disease. no, really.
3. how to speak french fluently. even more than already hahaha.
Three Things You're Wearing Right Now:
1. capris
2. camisole
3. white shirt
Three Things On My Desk:
1. my digital camera
2. fight club
3. nail polish that i haven’t used in…forever.
Three Good Things About My Personality:
1. compassion. that’s what i’ve been told, at least.
2. humor…duh.
3. responsibility
Three Bad Things About My Personality:
1. worrying constantly
2. thinking way too much…i guess there is such a thing as being too logical.
3. sarcastic and smart aleck, which can get on people’s nerves…especially adults.
Three Parts of Your Heritage:
1. scotch irish
2. englsih
3. …born american.
Three Things I Say A Lot:
1. i love you
2. oh my word/goodness
3. holy crap
Three Places I Want to Go:
1. the mountains
2. any big city: nyc, atlanta, washington dc, philadelphia, yeah you know.
3. out with friends…anywhere, to the movies, to dinner, to the mall
Three Names That You Go By:
1. char, char char, sharly
2. charlie, charlizzle, char la la
3. mabe, chartreuse, charmin
(i couldn’t do only three so i listed three after each…heh heh)
[in the morning i am]: grumpy like you would not believe
[love is]: unexplainable
[i dream about]: i had this weird dream about going through three book stores, running into a bunch of bratty kids and dissing them in front of their parents, then getting a slice of pizza with my mom before going to a soccer tournament in the rain at night cept we started out in the morning with the whole family. WEIRD i know. but really i just had that dream like an hour ago.
-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-
[what do you notice first?]: height, hair, sense of humor, and how they receive me
-W H O-
[easiest to talk to]: michelle
-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: shea, walker, scott? mmhmm YEAH.
-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: alex like an hour ago.
[hugged]: as always, considering sophie doesn’t count…alex??? i dunno.
[you instant messaged]: david
[you laughed with]: anne
-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[could you live without the computer?]: no, i really don’t think so
[what's your favorite food?]: my mom’s homemade macaroni and cheese, chocolate chip cookies, any fruit
[whats your favorite fruit?]: strawberries, pears, bananas, apples. in that order, but i love all of them.
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: emotional pain most definitely times a thousand. cause you know what hurts and why it hurts and you can fix it but…ahhh, emotional? ahhh.
[trust others way too easily?]: yeah, most likely. i’m so trusting i don’t even know haha.
-N U M B E R-
[of times i have had my heart broken? ]: once.
[of hearts i have broken?] : three…
[of girls i have kissed?] : three…my mom and my two sisters! on the cheek. haha.
[of drugs taken illegally?] : zero, always has been and always will be.
[of tight friends?]: around ten.
[of cd's that i own?] : couple hundred
[of scars on my body?] : dozens…it’s what happens with soccer players.
[of things in my past that i regret?] : no use crying over spilt milk.
-O.T.H.E.R.T.H.I.N.G.S.-
[i know]: more than enough.
[i want]: things to keep on heading in the direction i think they are.
[i have]: more than anyone could ask for.
[i wish]: that people weren’t going out of town and so i could hang out more over break.
[i hate]: stupid people. with a passion. (this includes being ditzy, shallow, etc.)
[i miss]: going out on dates
[i fear]: designer babies. okay hahahaha only my biology class would get that. i fear jealousy.
[i hear]: the luckiest—ben folds
[i search]: for the answer to what will make all these stupid entanglements go away without hurting anyone.
[i love]: you
[i ache]: over things i have no control over
[i care]: too much i think but you can never care too much
[i always]: think too much
[i dance]: when i’m happy
[i cry]: all the time, not only when i’m sad but when i’m scared, angry, stressed, embarrassed, annoyed, tired etc.
[i confuse]: those who haven’t known me long
[i can usually be found]: talking, or writing
[i need]: you
[have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing]: yeah.
[if so, when and with who]: haha we didn't play by the rules we just look at the instructions, laughed...and then didn't do it. lol.
[favorite place to be kissed?]: lips or neck
-Concerning.The.Friends.(You.Claim.To.Have)-
[wish you saw more often]: walker, duh. but also alex outside of school. and shea and will cause they don’t go to enloe.
[wish you could meet]: uhhm…i really don’t need to know anyone else right now haha.
[most sarcastic]: me, or walker, or scott, or shea…haha
[wish you knew better]: everyone. i mean i know all my friends really well but you can always know someone better.
[knows you best]: walker, scott, shea, sally
[best outlook on life]: ashley
[most paranoid]: sally—germaphobe! haha
[sweetest]: we’re all sweet. haha.

if you read all that...dayum. you get a theoretical high five. give yourself a cookie!

[mood]: annoyed, yet somehow quite self promoted.
[music]: pink grease and boca, both thanks to the glorious vincoliolis!

one note: one of the best feelings in the world is making someone laugh.

survey time...that's all i'm doing here. enjjooyyy!

okay, so here are the first lines from fifteen songs from my playlist...enjoy. (no repeat artists!) if you get them wrong...YOUR HEAD ASPLODE!!! okay sorry.

1. the clock's running down the team's loosing ground to the opposing defense
2. there's a tremor on this highway like a tower that can only fall cause when you build it on the blood of another nation it's a true endightment of us all
3. i love your hair i love the way you hold your head cause you're young and you know it
4. well it's a lonely road that you have chosen morning comes and you don't want to know me anymore
5. i didn't take your short cuts i spent the money that i saved up
6. in the summer in the spring in public places my cococo
7. you're the enemy the fungus in my milk when you want no one then you've got someone
8. come clean through the waves of debris
9. after all these impliments and text designed by intellects so vexed you find evidently there's so much that hides
10. i don't get many things right the first time in fact i am told that a lot
11. another night slips away in other words i should say there are no words he should say there are no words
12. rode hard and put up wet ain't down but i can't get up yet it's a long ride back to the way i wanna feel
13. ten fingers counting we have each nine planets around the sun appear
14. here i am on the phone again and awkward silences on the other end
15. last time i talked to you you were lonely and out of place you were looking down on me lost out in space

there you go. i'll be really surprised--if you don't cheat--and get them all.

now, one i really like:
ten years ago, i...
1. asked my mom every day if it was my birthday.
2. thought i was going to marry spencer white.
3. had bangs.
4. couldn't wait to go to school.
5. wanted to live outside 24/7.
five years ago, i...
1. thought i was going to marry collin vacarella.
2. hadn't quite grasped how mean the world could be...but i was about to.
3. rode my bike everywhere.
4. wanted a best friend. (tried and failed)
5. was still playing rec soccer.
one year ago, i...
1. was crying on the phone to scott at this exact moment. while babysitting.
2. finally realized who my best friend was and is! (sally)
3. finally got on track for how i am now...who my friends are, my grades, my family life, etc.
4. was about to master the joys of the blow drier for my hair.
5. was more content with less.
so far this year, i...
1. have accomplished my number one goal from the past two and a half years...twice in one month.
2. have never ceased to amaze myself.
3. have been crazy busy and i like it that way!
4. have become obsessed with soccer.
5. haven't come to terms with how i'm going to deal with this one particular person for the rest of my life...cause if it's coming up now, it'll keep coming up until i fix it. which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
yesterday, i...
1. left walker's house.
2. got bad rug burns from playing indoor soccer goalie with no goalie pants.
3. thought i was in my room for like five minutes before i opened my eyes, then had the greatest feeling in the world when i realized i was in walker's bed. (wait...how wrong does that sound? okay...he slept on the recliner.)
4. took the world's longest and hottest shower.
5. had the best glass of apple juice i ever have had and ever will have. (you might not understand that.)
today, i...
1. felt like i did through a lot of seventh grade.
2. was a corpse in english class and got to lie on the freezing cold tile for fifteen minutes.
3. got the greatest note i've ever received from chris.
4. babysat for three hours.
5. smelled my slippers at least a dozen times. (you might not get that one, either.)
tomorrow, i will...
1. maybe get the guts to take david's advice.
2. bundle up even more than i did today.
3. do my math homework at lunch.
4. try to write some poetry.
in one year, i will...
1. have what i've really always needed. finally. (yeah you should get that one.)
2. have my permit! hoally crap.
3. be a sophomore...whoa!
4. be missing kate up in philadelphia (probably).
5. have roughly six more diaries.
someday, i will...
1. marry ___________. yup.
2. go to paris, london, and milan.
3. thruhike the appalachain trail with an i-pod and the one person who's life goal is to thruhike that trail. yup again.
4. take a road trip with that person. and just drive around listening to music with the windows down.
5. live in the same neighborhood as scott and shea...and of course, that person.

there you go. i liked that one =). and here's one last thing that'll take longer...

pros and cons.

flaws.
1. impatience. now really, this one's the devil. i am the world's most impatient person. i get all snappy and pissy and i just can't see how someone can take as long as they are taking. i hate it when people use my computer for prolonged amounts of time (i.e., more than thirty seconds), and i hate it when the entire family is ready to go but one by one we all forget things and go back to get them. you get the gist.
2. paranoia. although this word is probably a little bit extreme to describe my condition...oh well. i worry way too much. all the time about all the little things. and the big stuff, too. i tend to follow murphy's laws and think that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. i have very little faith in things working out and i'm always surprised when things go my way. but on the same note, i wouldn't call myself a pessimist.
3. being out of control. although this makes me sound like an alcoholic or abuser of something, that's not the case. i just mean my mental state when i get in certain moods. if one little thing goes wrong, all the sudden i just see the flaws in everything and i'm just completely out of it. i will start ranting and ranting and chances are you won't get me to stop until i've slept through the night. i really will just keep going and go downhill until i hit rock bottom...cause the only way to go from there is up!
4. comparing happiness. i think this is my true downfall, and i'm willing to admit that up front. i often think that although i should be happy, i'm only really happy if i've got stuff just as good as or better than others. i know when and why i developed this and that's probably why it just screws with my mind. i hate the fact that sometimes i try to smile and pretend to be happy just so others who i know are happy won't have something to lord over me because i'm sad and they're happy. and i never even take advantage of this mindset: instead i feel immensely guilty when someone is feeling sad and i've got it good. gosh.
5. doubt. i often tend to rethink things and doubt my first instincts and double back and think way too logically into everything. i read the tinyest little nothings into inane things and it just backfires because trust me, 95% of the time when guys say stuff they just say what they mean. actually, i might bump that up to like 98%. but even knowing this doesn't keep me from doing it! i hate doubting my feelings and not knowing if i'm right, and in the end it just gets me all confused.

assets.
1. compassion. i put this first and foremost because it is first and foremost in every thing that i do each and every day. many times i could call it a flaw because it takes me overboard, but now that i think about it there is no such thing as caring too much. even if i am brought to tears way too easil--i cry at least once a day. (i cry when i'm scared, when i laugh until i cry, when i'm angry, when i'm embarassed, when i'm stressed or worried, and of course when i'm sad...) no matter how many times people tell me crap like that, i still care. i know what i care about and why i care about it and how much i care about it and what it means to me. i've always been very open about the way i feel and i think that is the most admirable thing in the world. for a specific point, take the view of love. so many people "luv" each other these days. but when i say i love people, i mean it. i can list every person i've ever said i love and to this day, i still mean it, even if the way in which i love them changes.
2. expression. i've been blessed with the talent of being able to talk with people. yeah true i can talk your ear off about pointless stuff, but i'm also a good listener, and that's where talking WITH people comes from. i also have been so amazingly blessed with a talent with words. i can write poetry and capture a particrular emotion and to me that is just priceless. i've also been writing every single night in my diary for almost two years and writing in total for seven and a half and to me that is just something that is irreplacable and something everyone needs. i've also always been able to tell someone how i feel about them (i mean that in a good way, not as in going up to someone and yelling that i hate them) and i'm so lucky to be able to form strong bonds this way.
3. responsibility. somehow, i just didn't get the memo that procrastination is normal for teenagers. i come home and do my homework immediately and then i bum around and do stuff like this =). when my parents were out of the country for two weeks, i ran the house smoothly--sure it's not easy or anything--but i did it! and i've never been able to lie about doing something, i always come right out. i don't like excuses anyway. there's not much to elaborate on for this one.
4. logic. yes sometimes it can be flawed, but i use it a heck of a lot. i have a way of being able to get out of situations both literally and figuratively. for instance, in just your basic school work this comes in handy all the time. math especially. and then i have the way i systematically go through things...i always make lists and think of all possible routes and concequences and i just manage to figure out the most productive and least destructive path to take...granted no one can do anything perfectly.
5. connections. i've found that somehow i can always laugh--or cry--with people. this one could have been called optimism or brains or talents or something like that...but i decided that it's much more important how and who you connect with. i am pretty trusting by nature, and although i'm not oblivious or naive, i often can quickly make inside jokes with people or find parallels to them. somehow i've always been able to find myself in situations where we say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time. and to me, that is priceless.

this stuff is fun to think about.

[mood]: so incredibly lucky, content, happy, and excited.
[music]: august and everything after--counting crows (album)

so, life's pretty darn good.
last night i went to see shall we dance with ashley and michelle and let me tell ya, it's a crappy movie but we had lots of fun anyway. kate drove us and we picked up ashley and then (without getting lost--AND we were on time! whoo hoo) to the theater and the ending of the movie was actually pretty good, like the way they wrapped it up...but the way they got there sucked. oh well we laughed and laughed and laughed and were obnoxious cause there were like six other people in there and that's it. we sat around waiting for kate for a while and it was like after midnight so it was empty but we had fun talking! and so then we drove in circles before getting everyone home...heh heh oh well.
then today i was supposed to go ice skating but jeff couldn't give me a ride and kate was gone so i couldn't have a ride and then it turned out alex went anyway but i missed him =( that made me really, really sad cause tomorrow he's going to the unc football game so we can't do anything...but it's all good. we'll just go ice skating next week.
i'm really excited! my parents get home from london/paris tomorrow night...i missed them so much! and of course this weekend is gonna be awesome.

if my life were a movie...
this would be the soundtrack

[the opening credits] get up and be it--ted leo and the pharmacists
[the out on the town scene] that song--the futureheads
[the rock-bottom moment] black and blue--counting crows
[the really bittersweet post-climax moment] the luckiest--ben folds
[the fall-in-love moment] heart of wilderness--big head todd and the monsters
[the unobtainable love scene] why can't i--liz phair
[the climax] innocent--our lady peace
[the love scene] amazed--lonestar
[the closing scene] sullivan street-counting crows
[the closing credits]

(this is still a major work in progress. heh heh.)
other artists i wanna include:
.ben folds five
.the new pornographers (they're a band, okay?!! haha)
.stellastarr*
.silverchair
.bruce springsteen
.averi
.the shins
.franz ferdinand
.collective soul
.cake
.keane
.dave matthews band
.the calling
.foo fighters
.the sly caps
.ok go
.ben kweller
.the refreshments
.the strokes
.josh kelley
.nirvana
.guster
.dispatch
.mcc (my ultimate secret weapon)
.matchbox twenty
.three doors down
.third eye blind
.goo goo dolls
.the poastal service
.u2
.sr.71

you know what i just realized? this is gonna take way too long. screw that...i'd just have those artists constantly writing songs to collaborate with my life. there we go. one day when i become all powerful and grossly rich, i'll do that.

hoooaally crap i am so excited for this weekend!!!

[mood]: anticipation!
[music]: g105...yeah i'm a slacker.

soo state cup was the best ever. (so what if i lost my weekend in order to be able to go!)
i left right after school on friday for eddy's house and i rode up to high point with her mom and avery (not the one from enloe...sorry everyone's been asking me that). we had so much fun playing sweet & sour...hahahaha that was great. we got some pretty good reactions, too. so then we got there and tillery was already there so we all went out to dinner together...the food was crap but guess what we had the best time so who cares. SOCCA PEPPA NOODLE! ohhh dennnyyyy! good thing penne has holes in it, or else eddy would have choked! regular gravy...you know, white, brown...i love you guys! so then eddy avery and i shared a room and we watched the haunting before goin to bed...what a retarded movie! it's cold...let's breathe really hard! sliding (and screaming in a deep voice) like a penguin! wow and then i laughed when they died. bad charlotte.
so then saturday morning we had a game and err...we don't play well in the morning. we went to subway for lunch and i love that place i could live off of it. then we came back to the hotel and watched all this weird stuff on tv and threw candy out of our sixth floor window and acted crazy...yeah that's what we do best. (i was so mad i forgot my camera, though!) haha so then our second game...hooaally crap i think that was the best game we've ever played in the history of the team...so what if i got a strawberry and shouldered in the chest really hard (yeah that hurt like shiat you have no idea) and my fingernail got ripped off and it was digging into my flesh...we won by like six points! heh heh. then we all went out to a team dinner and i didn't have to pay cause they wanted to treat me cause my game was so good =) heh heh. we got these molton chocolate cake things...thank goodness i didn't eat all of mine. that was great mini: "it's a pretty good size!" heh heh gay waiters are the funniest. but yeah we made up this awesome dance...only avery till and me can do it right...don't even try...hahaha break it down now. whoo good stuff. then we went back to the hotel and avery till and i went swimming at like ten at night with all these little boys...they were retarded but that's okay. then avery and i came back downstairs and we played all these little old school "video" games at the bar and had shirley temples...mmm. her dad and step-mom-to-be are the coolest! haha. yeah sexy bitches...we got a picture at least for her cell! then i stayed in their room til like midnight...but i realized i should probably go to bed.
so then we won our morning game...even though we got krispy kreme before hand...haha whoooooops. then we had to wait around to see if we were tied for the spot into the finals but we weren't...so yessss we're going to finals next weekend. which i'll get to later. haha after the game i had a banana and threw it in the forest but it got stuck on a branch and coach tony said he'd give me a dollar if i did it again...i couldn't =[ haha oh well.
i rode home with avery and we stopped at...okay i'm not even gonna try to spell this right...schlotzky's? wow i think i did it right...maybe. so anyway then i went to her house when we got back into raleigh cause we thought we might do something with this guy she knows but it turned out i just hung out there for an hour before coming back home...and miss avery is definitely coming to the semi finals this weekend! yes ma'am!
so then this week: wednesday night i'm gonna go see a movie and thursday we're going ice skating (i really hope that works and really hope everyone can go) and friday another movie or something but i can't stay out late at all because my game on saturday is in greensboro at 8.30am...lordy i don't know how i'll pull that one off. oh well we'll see. then walker and his dad are gonna come pick me up (and maybe watch my game! none of my friends--except from my team--have like ever seen me play soccer...wow) and then his birthday party is that night (his birthday's on friday) and then i'm staying there over night and i might have a game on sunday and if not i'll just hang out there til i get picked up...then back home...
so yeah that's why this week is absolutely stupendous. plus, it's gorgeous weather!