[mood]: ON TOP OF THE WORLD!
[music]: hot hot heat--elevator (album) and CLAPPING SONGS like hey ya and the strokes and a long time ago we used to be friends. CAN'T FORGET THE PUMP UP MUSIC!!

OH MY GOODNESS.

how the heckity hey did i end up with such an amazing life?!!
crazy life, sweet life, beautiful life.
i'm listening to the first one! it's a song (crazy life by toad and the wet sprocket) and it came on launchcastplus and i turned it up really loud and baaahhh i'm SO HAPPY.

well, first thing's first.
WE WON TONIGHT!!!
thank you so so so so much for all the fans that came out. even the ones *cough danny and alex* that are in big trouble for taking our eagle pride flag over to the athens sideline. whoops...good luck with that tomorrow morning. anyway, without y'all the good vibes would have been decidedly less and thanks so much for your support--be there for the state tournament, too! (both are home games cause we're the NUMBER ONE SEED now! yeaayyuhhs!!!)
i was nervous as all get out, which didn't help much. the score went 1-0 us, 1-1 all, 2-1 us, and then in the last five minutes we made it 3-1 us. AHHH, it was awesome, and it was SENIOR NIGHT TOO. and kate scored the first goal! how lucky am i to be on the same team as my awesome sister, aww i love her so much and i'm going to miss her next year. but i'll carry on the mabe tradition--heck yes. then casey made it back from her dance thing! and scored like, in the first thirty seconds she stepped on the field with twelve minutes to go. then kelly scored the last goal! and everyone played SO WELL i'm so proud of everyone and coach got dumped with water balloons/two water coolers after the game. and then we ate cake and partied!
then sally rode to third place with kate john and i and we got italian sodas, mmm.
then we brought her back here and now i can't even imagine attempting homework. i have some french that i'll probably do. and probably some stuff on the project, but man, it's getting late.

and it was gorgeous weather today overall and everything was good.
the project group is going well, i even have an A in kifner!
then for lunch kate kidnapped me and then sadi came along and we went to cookout and got lemonade/milkshakes. mmm. sat back at the regular table for the second half of lunch. started a new drawing in art. after school we all went in a caravan to jessie's house: kate took me audrey ww and kellie. then we watched zoolander and had pasta salad, mmm. then we gave all the seniors their gag presents, heh heh. LIL' CHUB no just kidding kate.

so yeah only two days left in the week and i frankly don't give a crap about ANYTHING work wise, in less than a month we'll be out.

ROCK ON EAGLES SOCCER! GIRLS' VARSITY '04-'05!
state tournament up next : )

[EDIT]

here's the article that was in the newspaper: click.

[mood]: well my heartstrings are being tugged on a little bit, but excellent.
[music]: george winston--autumn (the entire album, ahh so good.)

so.
i'm fifteen.
happy birthday anne and april, too!
i feel old...-ish.
actually i feel ageless, i feel both so young and so old and they just cancel each other out. what does age have to do with anything, anyway? you can get wiser or more naive as you grow, and you can become more youthful the older you get. it's a weird conundrum, age is.

let's see.
yesterday i stormed north hills with my mom and that's about all you need to know.
got so much stuff for my birthday, baah.
i don't know why i just made a sheep noise, ANYWAY.

today, woke up at the grand hour of 7.45 to go spend the first half of my birthday at driver's ed.
WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE FUN, whoa my gosh i know but at times i found myself laughing so hard, we made the best of it we could.
we had this foriegn guy as a sub from the lady that was there last week and he was even cooler than she was. we didn't watch as many videos but we talked him into giving us two thirty minute breaks and an hour lunch. and he let us out thirty minutes early, yess.
during first break, threw boxes at each other and fought over the wheely chair.
lunch, they stole some amp equipment and we fused the stero subwoofer and speakers to griffin's ipod and then played football in the parking lot and then starting rolling tires around and pole vaulting WHO KNOWS those boys are crazy. so mostly it was anne griffin spencer kira and...i don't know those other three guys' names. and then i fell asleep, it was nice.

got back to the house then left to meet SHEEHAN at the north carolina museum of art, haven't been there since like sixth grade i don't think.
it closed earlier than we thought so we made transportation arrangements, then were set free.
walked all around outside, there are these huge fields and all these sculptures and different forms of art and it was a really pretty/windy day and i just always have so much fun with shea.
pictures are here.
hahaha BOO. (that video looks like something out of a horror movie. it's from the whistling poles at the museum, but i don't think you can hear anything but the wind, and the screaming of course.)
OH SCHNAP. (that hurt like mess, i don't think you can really tell exactly what happened. but in reality, it's hilarious and it didn't hurt so much that i forbid you from laughing. so laugh, laugh away.)

yeah so then we went back to shea's and took more pictures and trampolined like always, WHAT ELSE?!! and read that orange notebook of comics and stuff we had from last year, awww it made me miss going to school with him so much. i love you sheehan thomas moore!

got home and had my big birthday dinner, ahhh so good. presents presents all around, i'm excited i got lots of great music (waiting on walker for more, heh heh) and clothes aaand that's pretty much about it, besides money. but my party's not til next weekend anyway.

then went with kate to the enloe vs. some wake forest hockey game, YESS we won 10-1 it was awesome. saw anne and carey there, i hadn't seen carey since she left the team like two years ago? or maybe it was just two seasons ago, but three seasons ago would be two years cause of the high school schedule. but ANYWAY. hahaha had fun talking with them and then of course kate and andrew.
especially since kate burned me this awesome CD and everything and gosh i'm just going to miss her so much next year when she goes away to college. like all get out. we have so much fun together, dancing in the car with the windows down blasting hot hot heat. (the band, not the ac. duh.) and i'm so lucky she can take me to school and so lucky that we get along so well and she's like an instant best friend! yay! but it's going to be so lonely around the house once she's gone. and i'm going to miss this year's class of seniors, heck yes '05, because i love them to death and they're all so sweet to me. having a big sister rocks.
well now that we're done with that sentimental moment...

on to another!
i was thinking how perfect this weekend would have been to have walker. he could have come up and stayed with shea while i was at driver's ed and then met at the museum. like, the cloud room and everything? shea was probably about to hit me if i said his name once more. and then tonight the hockey game was so much fun and i know he loves it. and so right now we'd just be sitting on the floor talking when necessary and just listening to music when it wasn't, and just soaking up each other's company.
i don't know it's hard to believe it's only been one month since i saw him.
and it's only been two months for us this time around, but that doesn't really matter i mean that makes something like ten months total so whatever.
but still.

glad for no school tomorrow, have a couple homework things to knock out. i'm sleeping late, though.

overall i had a great birthday. thanks so much to everybody--for existing, i love you.
Kuntal: happy birthday
Morgan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLOTTE!!!
Shea: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Cam: happy birthday charlotte!!!
Michelle: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!
Adam 2: happy birthday!
bah yeah whatever you get the point i don't feel like going through stuff to get all those.

[mood]: amazing, this time of the year is like a prozac with a couple ecstasy shots with a side of caffeine.
[music]: TED LEO!!!!!!

so i know this update is on the heels of another one (for me these days at least) but life's too good to not share.
here, take a piece. really, i have so many amazing things, i have plenty to go around.

so, hmm, yesterday ROCKED.
all the classes were shortened, got to play cards in "gym" and work with the GOOD group in english and the french test was easy and we came home before the game and it was a gorgeous day and then we had a home game vs. southeast. and i started and played the whole time and we WON (which is why i'm not at practice right now and instead at home!) and coach wolfe was so proud which meant a lot to us. thanks so much to everyone who came out to watch, and of course to the amazing team.

and then let's see, TODAY ROCKED EVEN MORE.

first: most of it was a free day, but we took a survey and i'm passive assertive. well one fourth passive and three fourths assertive. yeah, i knew that. then i just copied willy's masterful plan for saying NO TO DRUGS. besides the F-A-C-T that it's not all just a ploy and drug money does fund terror! haha i forget where but somewhere along the line today i was making fun of that with people.

second: review game, got to read and won a game and yeah i just love the people in that class. david nearly broke his neck though, climbing on top of the microscope shelf to plug in the jeapordy kit thing. and then he flew off. no really, he flew. hahahaha.

third: test, but it was only twenty questions. NO COMMENT on it though because every time i do, i do worse than i thought i did. then it was stock market time and mulhern and i were bumming newspapers off of people. only to find out that we're all miserably losing money. oh well! we sell day after tomorrow, anyway.

fourth: worked with the skit group, everyone in the class was like GRR at my group cause i wrote the script for us (references included) and typed it up last night so all day today we were practicing, ours kicks BUTT. no really, alex, ours is going to be better than yours.

fifth: duuuhm. oh yeah sally wasn't there and we were just reading about cars from the book. so basically, now i have two driver's ed classes: one in english and one in french. FUN!

sixth: went on a trek avec alex. he had to sign up for driver's ed so we went from the cafeteria around behind the east so we didn't get hall patroled, and then escamilla wasn't even there. found a ladybug and wished on it, heh heh. then uhhm i don't know lunch back at the regular table.

seventh: finished my painting! i think. cam wasn't there, feel better!!

eighth: HAHA we knew mr. noland wasn't going to be there but no sub showed up. so, i was swallowed up by this gigantoid asian contigent, no kidding. i was the one white person in this huge mass of people playing cards, like kuntal nabil crystal sarah april swathi sam david and oh, i WON. we played tongue and i won all the way down to the face off 1v.1 so then it was april and me and i beat her at spit. haha yesss.

so it was weird coming straight home. but i did.
ran some errands with my mom, then just got back from ben & jerry's for free ice cream with will and shea! hahaha i hadn't seen will in forever it was great to see him again, i love that kid. i'm excited for this weekend! and my birthday party, which is gonna be on the 3oth i think. i'm still trying to figure out the logistics of the guest list though. basically just let me know if you wanna come and chances are you can. so no worries.

THIS IS WHY I LOVE LAUNCHCASTPLUS:
corporate whore--what we need
nada surf--hi-speed soul
pink grease--the pink g-r-ease
teenage fanclub--can't feel my soul
talk talk--it's my life
ben folds--the last polka
hootie and the blowfish--only wanna be with you
fountains of wayne--supercollider
dave matthews band--ants marching (live)
the white stripes--the same boy you've always known
tom petty--depending on you
ben harper--when she believes
dubstar--can't tell me
rusted root--you can't always get what you want
the owls--air

the only bad things:
i don't know when i'm gonna see walker again.
my big corporate project group.
my camera's broken.

[mood]: balanced
[music]: dave matthews band, van morrison, coldplay

i can't believe that it's sunday and therefore another school week starts tomorrow.
but it can't be all that bad because it's only a four day week and my birthday's at the end of it!

my school week wasn't all that awesome.
i was really, really sick for most of it and then there was the whole project fiasco...
no hard feelings towards kuntal, though. no comment about the rest of y'all...well okay so i'm not even talking to danny. whatev.
i'll just put my head down and get through it. i was talking to my parents about it and they said that they doubted i could really screw my grade up considering: a). i'll make the same grade as always for these stupid projects because of the way everyone across the board "games the system" and b). because i can just study for finals and get A's on those because those contribute more than anything to my grade, which is the one colleges will see. for example, first semester i got an A first quarter and an A second quarter in kifner, but then on the exam i got a B and so for my entire semester grade i got a B: yeah it was a 92.3. boo. BUT ENOUGH on that.

soccer against garner was fun, we won 9-0. then practice on friday, that was like the only soccer i had this week because of sickness/rain.
friday night went out to dinner at irregardless and then to the team sleepover at adelle's. played cranium, hahahaha whoo boy. then we had a food fight with icing and whipped cream before watching the forgotten which was pretty cheesy. from now on if i don't like somebody or if someone does something bad, i'll just go, "CUE BEING SUCKED INTO THE SKY" and whoosh off they'll go. talked for a lot longer than we all should have before falling asleep (like sardines) considering we all had to wake up really early.
started driver's ed, ooh boy. it's actually not all that bad, considering some of the horror stories i've heard from other people. met a couple cool people, knew a couple others. BUT CAAAAMMERON i wish you were in the class. sniff.

i've been trying to figure out how to get a new layout on here and i'm really not computer/html incompetent at all, it's just that for some reason my winzip/passwords aren't working on anything blogskin related. it's aggrivating. sooo i might pass this job off to sally : ).

i'm hijacking biology pictures from friday from shannon. ignore the first half, she stole those from me back in february, heh heh. (and the one where lea and i are making THE STRANGEST faces and not looking at the camera, that was because this one group dropped their frog on the ground TWICE and we were, obviously, very horrified.)

i'm so excited for my birthday! i mean really everyone's going out of town cause of the long weekend so it'll just be me and shea chillaxin. and then friday the day before we have no school so i'm going to north hills/saks/crabtree with my mom because frankly i'd rather get presents that way.
i wish more than anything i could see walker, though. i think that'd be the best present.
if i have any sort of party thing it'll be the last weekend in april, around the 3oth. i might go see straylight run/spitalfield at cat's cradle at the end of the week before then, if i don't have a soccer game, we'll see.

you know, as basic and obvious as it seems, it's sometimes still hard to stomach that you have to take the bad with the good. i'd be fine right now i think if it weren't for the stupid project in c&c--knowing that i could be enjoying that and could be working with some of my best friends like everyone else is makes it even harder. and it's weird, and maybe it's just because i can't remember as clearly from seventh grade how much i missed him, but these last few months before walker moves back are getting to be some of the hardest i've known. (as far as wishing to see him goes.)
but i'm going to miss this year. (biology, art, math, a select few teachers, the soccer season, admittedly, this year has been unbelievably good in retrospect, it was just all happening so much at once that i never really get the chance to stop and say that i'm amazingly fortunate.) there aren't that many days left of school. only a little more than a month total before it's over. i'm just going to try and enjoy it as much as possible. (isn't that what everyone always says?)

[mood]: sick but mentally alright.
[music]: spin doctors, barenaked ladies, jack johnson.

so, today i was the most sick i've been all year.
it was horrible. i threw up so many times. thanks so much to lea shannon and betty from biology for escorting me to the bathroom/the office so many times and not getting grossed out. actually just kidding i bet you were, but at least you acted like you weren't : )
but hey, first period rocked. we played kickball and i had like a triple run kick for my team, yesss. (the little things in life, the little things.)
so then i came home after second and slept until 2.30.
went outside and did biology homework and then sally came by with flowers and a card, for hugh/sickness, awww it was so sweet! she's the best friend ever, i love you sally belle! talked for a while but then her mom/jack had to go, so yeah that made my day.
went outside and took all these pictures before reading a couple parts of 1984, i need to talk to someone though to figure out how much exactly i need to read.

and this is why i love spring.

oh yeah and i have jack johnson tickets, biotches.

[mood]: terrible.
[music]: all damien rice, darkness--disturbed on the side. with some fountains of wayne, off of welcome interstate managers.

so i never update anymore.
because generally the only thing i ever feel like updating about isn't that pleasant and that's no fun to read.
but i'll make an effort!
...no, no i won't.

so basically, every day i go to school.
sometimes it seems like it lasts forever, sometimes it doesn't.
either i like it, or i don't.
either i have fun, or i don't.
either it's hard, or it's not.

then i go to soccer, practice or a game.
sometimes it seems like it lasts forever, sometimes it doesn't.
either i like it, or i don't.
either i have fun, or i don't.
either it's hard, or it's not.

then i get home.
either i talk to walker, or i don't.
either i go to bed on time, or i don't.
either i do homework, or i...no wait, i have so much crap to do these days i have no choice and i do a ton of homework.

so basically that's every day.
except today i got really sick and so i came home at the beginning of lunch, which means i had to sit through a whole extra period of french but whatever.
i slept ever since, pretty much.
i'm mad though cause it was such a gorgeous day but i felt really bad and couldn't go outside. gahh sometimes i'll be sick on days when it turns out good like last time when i really just skipped school and talked to walker, or it can happen like today when...i come home and just feel like total utter shit and sleep for eight hours.
the only reason i went to school was because i had about a million things to do in first-fourth, which weren't too shabby. in biology we have three mice and some sort of gecko for our ecosystem and i could watch them all day, they're adorable.
and the only reason i'm going to school tomorrow is because we have a home game and i don't want to miss it and if i miss more than three periods i can't go but i can't miss second so maybe i should just not go to school until second then get picked up and miss third and then come back and go to english and then miss fifth!! haha I WISH. i'm pretty bitter sorry.

so yeah basically i have a ton of stuff in the cards for me and it all stays on track and is perfect and i keep getting news that should make me happier and happier and i'm so freaking lucky and i have more than i asked for but gosh darn it i feel so sad and i don't know why i let this get to me but it's basically always controlled me i'm retarded.

i think everyone learns the same lessons through different trials and tribulations and in the end it all comes out even.
so that's not meant to be justification, just a thought so i stop getting annoyed with people who say they miss other people when it's horrible for me.
i mean it's really not, i have a great life GOSH i'll just stop typing.
i don't know why i want to differentiate between being sad and being hurt, between being sad and being lonely, between being sad and being unlucky and between being sad and just about every other unfortunate thing. because i'm just SAD. i'm not hurt or lonley or unfortunate or anything.
and i know that i'm being melodramatic and whiny, SO. you don't need to tell me.

if you read all of that...you must be weirded out.